sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
