What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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