Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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