he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize