You work out of a Hotel?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
