We're like a lot better than the average bears
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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