so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
