3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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