Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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