i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
