If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
