You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
