its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
