I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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