there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
