She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
