I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All the doctor said was why
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
