32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
