I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
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I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
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