I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
