I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
