Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
