My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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