**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
