Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize