idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
