she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
