Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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