and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
