Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
