This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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