his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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