I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
