I wish they made helmets for livers.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
