I just made out with a guy for $7.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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