Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize