that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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