It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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