Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
