thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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