so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
