ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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