cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You're a waste of cheezeits
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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