I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
