i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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