the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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