Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just had sex bonerless
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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