We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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