similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize