I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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