About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize