You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
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When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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