Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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