My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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