She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
