So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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