turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
