was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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