i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize