people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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