So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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